For the Love of Forgiveness

 For the Love of Forgiveness

Forgiveness. That word. It rolls off the tongue so easily, yet the act itself can feel like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops. We all know we should forgive. The Bible is pretty clear on that: "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13)

Fear not, fellow forgivers-in-training! This journey doesn't require superhuman strength (though a good dose of humility wouldn't hurt). Let's break down forgiveness into 10 manageable steps:

1. Acknowledge the Hurt: Pretending it didn't happen is like trying to hide a giant elephant in your living room. It's just not gonna work. Acknowledge the pain, the anger, the betrayal. Let yourself feel it. (But don't get stuck here! We're not building a permanent residence in Grudgeville.)

2. Understand the "Why" (But Not Necessarily Excuse It): Try to understand the other person's perspective. Were they acting out of malice or were there underlying issues at play? This isn't about condoning their actions, but about recognizing that people are complex and often make poor choices.

   
   
   

3. Practice Empathy (Even If It Hurts): Put yourself in their shoes (metaphorically, of course! You don't want to step in their actual footwear, especially if they're known for tracking in mud). Try to see the situation from their point of view. This doesn't mean you agree with them, but it helps to understand the root of their behavior.

4. Release the Need for Revenge: Revenge is a dish best served... never. Seriously, holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It only harms you.

5. Forgive Yourself for Holding Onto Grudges: We're not perfect. We all make mistakes, including the mistake of holding onto anger. Forgive yourself for not being a saint and for struggling with this process.

6. Find a Way to Release the Anger: Some people find journaling helpful. Others prefer a good, vigorous workout. Some even find solace in baking (though I wouldn't recommend eating all the cookies in one sitting – trust me on this haha).

   
   
   
   
   
   
   

7. Pray for the Other Person: This might seem counter-intuitive, but praying for the person who hurt you can be surprisingly liberating. It shifts the focus from your own pain to their well-being.

8. Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Sharing your burdens can lighten the load and offer valuable perspectives.

9. Focus on Self-Care: Forgiveness is an emotional marathon, not a sprint. Make sure you're taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

10. Remember: Forgiveness is a Process, Not a Destination: It's okay if it takes time. There might be setbacks along the way. That's perfectly normal. Just keep moving forward, one step at a time.

    
    
    

Forgiveness is not weakness. It's a powerful act of love and liberation. It doesn't mean condoning the other person's actions or forgetting what happened. It means choosing to release the bitterness and resentment that are poisoning your own soul.

May God grant you the grace and strength to walk this path of forgiveness.

Books I've read that help my forgiveness journey: Amazon Forgive and Forget   by Lewis B. Smedes

Have you ever had an experience where forgiveness felt impossible? If so, would you be open to sharing that story to help others?

Michelle M💗

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